Self Worth & Embracing Your Body as an Adult Ballerina

How to let go of frustration, rebuild self-worth, and practice with compassion in the body you have today.

Let's dive into a topic that I know so many of you can relate to because it's come up in the Balanced Ballerinas community quite a bit lately. In fact, the inspiration for this episode came directly from a couple of comments I received on Instagram that really hit home for me. One person shared, "My struggle is that things don't even remotely feel the same as when I was 15 or 21 or even 37... my body is so different now that I feel like I'm re-learning the simplest of things. I know what it should feel like, but my body just doesn't work the same today." Another said, "I did ballet for 16 years as a child and have now been taking classes for 3 years as an adult. I get so frustrated with myself because I'm trying to do things that my 16-year-old self could do..."

These comments truly highlight something I often say to my adult students: 'Practice in the body you have today.' But I also understand that it’s easier said than done. It’s not just about the physical side of things—it often connects to our deeper feelings of self-worth and the expectations we place on ourselves, shaped by experiences throughout our lives, even as children.

So today, I want to explore this further. We'll be talking about how self-worth impacts our experience in the studio, how past experiences—whether with teachers, family, or even societal standards—can influence how we see ourselves today, and most importantly, how we can start to practice with more compassion in the body we have right now.

Body Changes and Frustrations 

Let’s start by acknowledging the deep frustrations that many adult ballet students feel when returning to the studio. So many people have shared how their bodies don’t feel the same as they did in their teens, twenties, or even thirties. These changes can make you feel like you’re re-learning the simplest movements. And I completely understand that this can be disheartening.

One of the hardest aspects of adult ballet is reconciling the gap between your mind and body. Your mind may remember the technique or how something "should" feel, but your body today might not align with that memory. This leads to the type of frustration we’ve seen in those comments.

Now, something I tell my students is “practice in the body you have today.” It’s a simple phrase, but it holds so much truth. Your body is different now, and that’s not a bad thing—it’s simply a fact. We evolve, and with that, our bodies change too. Instead of comparing your current self to your 16-year-old body, which was in a completely different phase of life, the goal should be to embrace the body you have today. This is your starting point. The body you have today is still powerful, still capable, and still worthy of celebration.

The Root of “I Am Not Enough” 

But I understand this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Because often, the root of this frustration isn’t just about wanting to achieve a perfect arabesque or to nail a pirouette like you did at 16. It’s often tied to a deeper feeling: “I am not enough.”

This mindset of not feeling enough often stems from our sense of self-worth, or rather, a lack of it. I believe that many of us carry this internal struggle with us, especially if we grew up in environments where we felt judged or criticised.

For example, in the ballet world, perfectionism runs deep. If you had negative experiences in your ballet classes as a child—maybe your teacher was particularly harsh or the environment was hyper-competitive—it can leave lasting impressions. Or if you grew up in a home where body image was a frequent topic of conversation, perhaps due to your mother’s own relationship with her body, that too can affect your self-perception. Often, we absorb these beliefs about ourselves unconsciously, and they manifest later in life when we’re trying to reclaim activities we once loved, like ballet.

Here’s the tricky part though: when we realise that we’re carrying this “I am not enough” mindset, it’s easy to point fingers and blame. You might blame your childhood teacher for being too critical. You might blame other students who made you feel inferior. Or you might even blame your parents, especially if they unknowingly passed on their own body image struggles.

But, as difficult as it is to accept, this blame doesn’t help us heal. In fact, it keeps us stuck. That’s why I encourage you to reframe the way you look at these experiences.

“Hurt People, Hurt People” and Finding Compassion

One of the biggest shifts in mindset I’ve learned—and something I encourage my students to embrace—is understanding the phrase “hurt people, hurt people.”

If your ballet teacher from childhood was harsh or made you feel less than, it’s important to consider that they, too, were likely struggling with their own self-worth. Perhaps they were trained in an era where criticism was the norm. Perhaps they never had the opportunity to confront their own body image issues. When we start to recognise that the people who may have hurt us were themselves dealing with pain, it can open the door to compassion.

Now, don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t excuse any harmful behaviour or invalidate your feelings. Your pain is valid. But compassion allows us to begin the healing process. It lets us say, “Okay, this happened. And it hurt. But I can move forward from here, without holding onto the pain.”

When we hold on to resentment—whether it’s toward a teacher, our parents, or even our younger selves—we block ourselves from accepting who we are right now. And without acceptance, it’s hard to build self-worth.

Think of it this way: If you’re still angry at a teacher for criticising your body or movements when you were younger, you're not in a space to celebrate the body you have today. Compassion helps dissolve that anger. It helps us soften, and from that place of softness, we can rebuild our self-worth.

Rebuilding Self-Worth Through Ballet 

So, how do we begin to rebuild that self-worth, especially as adult ballet students? One of the first steps is to let go of the idea that our worth is tied to how well we dance, how much our body can achieve, or whether we can recreate the movements we did in our youth.

Ballet, like any other art form, is about expression. And self-expression is deeply personal. Your body today might not be able to perform a perfect pirouette, but it can still tell a story. It can still find joy in movement, in flow, in discipline. Ballet is more than just a technical skill—it’s a practice that can reconnect us to ourselves.

When you walk into the studio, instead of focusing on what you used to be able to do, shift the narrative. Focus on the present. What can your body do today? How does it feel to move? How does it feel to dance without judgment, simply for the love of movement?

Remember that self-worth is not about achieving a specific outcome or meeting a particular standard. It’s about honouring where you are right now and recognising that your value doesn’t depend on your achievements or your body’s abilities. You are enough, simply because you are here.

I always remind my students to practice patience and self-compassion on this journey. Ballet is a lifelong practice, and every class is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, both physically and emotionally. Allow yourself the space to explore, to make mistakes, and to grow in ways that go beyond technique.